Tuesday, February 25, 2014

One Year Ago Today, part 1

One year ago today Jesse and I were staying with our nieces and nephews while their mom and dad had a weekend away. I was at work in the afternoon when I got a call from the adoption agency we worked with.

"A birth family liked your profile and wants to interview you."

The call we'd be waiting for, the call expressing interest, had come. Someone had read our profile, added us to their "maybe" pile and decided to meet us.

Coming to the decision to adopt is difficult. I've seen a young woman ready to give a gift, a young man who wasn't able to handle the decision, and a couple searching for direction as time draws near. I appreciated that our adoption agency encouraged an interview process; a chance for both families to meet, talk, hear each other laugh and prepare for a new relationship.

I took down all the details I could, told our case worker we'd call her tomorrow and called Jesse. We talked quickly since he was in the middle of full time Uncle Afternoon, but his encouraging words were that there were no red flags. No concerns. No immediate hesitation.We'd never come to this stage in the adoption process before and we were ready to proceed.

I called the agency back and set up an appointment for Friday, March 1st.

All Love Is Equal

My sister-in-law liked a link on Facebook and I followed it to a post written by a photographer who set out to capture love and romance in the LBGT culture. The pictures are gorgeous and the settings are phenomenal. And wherever you fall on the controversial subject of the culture, marriage and lifestyle of gays, this post is captivating. Linked here.

The tagline of the project is 'All Love is Equal'.  There is an element of truth to this statement that is beautiful, but I don't think it's accurate.

As soon as I say that, I'm sure eyebrows are raised and hesitation is felt in the gut. Hold on.

All good things come from the Lord whose good grace falls on all men. The truest of all forms of every emotion is given from the one who created us. Love, joy, happiness, pleasure; it's all given from the Lord. His example of love to us in grace and mercy, in sacrifice and redemption is a true measure of love. "Greater love has no man than this, than to lay down his life for his friends." (paraphrase from John 15:13)

When I said that the statement 'all love is equal' is inaccurate, I'm talking about the forms of love. I'm not looking down on colors or creeds or sex or people in love, I'm talking about the many forms of love allowed for the many relationships in life.

The love between parent and child. "Daddy's Little Girl." "A Momma's Boy". or of a grandparent and a grandchild. "Spoiled." "What happens at Grandma's, Stays at Grandma's". This is familial love and creates bonds between our closest friends, our care givers and our primary instructors.

The love between friends. Best Friends. BFFs. Kindred spirits. The Guys. Her Gals. His Gang. This love of friendship is different than familial love, though it can overlap. Someone in your family could be your best friend. The connection between friends is what girds us on, strengthens us, prods us to new things, and challenges us in good and bad ways.

The romantic love between two people. Lover. Girlfriend. Hot date. Sexy. My man. My woman. The romantic love is our comfort, our pleasure, our sanctuary at the end of the day. Our romantic interest is our drug and desire. And romantic love attraction between two people is unique because of the two fold manifestation. While the other loves are public and common, romantic love has a sexual side that is hidden and private; access to this in only shared between the lovers.

C.S. Lewis describes this various loves and outlines a fourth in his book, The Four Loves. The fourth love is between man and God. A worshipful love. A love of devotion and prayer. I highly recommend the book as a good read on the subject, but this is enough for a blog post.

My point at the end of all this is that a blanket statement and a general headline is misleading. All Love is Not Equal. There are many forms and styles of love. But all people are created with equal worth and their expression of love is by no means less than another's.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Morning

"I've always liked the feeling of being the first one awake in the morning; it makes you daring somehow."
Leif Enger, Peace Like A River